The Anxiety and Panic Attack Card

This is the Nine of Swords. We've looked at this card before. A person sits up in bed with their head in their hands looking worried. Nine swords hang over their head. Roses adorn the bedspread.

In my last post about this card I said it represented a worrying situation that would come up smelling of roses in the end. But there are other shades to this card.

Although I rather pooh-poohed the idea last time it can also represent needless worry (Okay, okay, I was a bit focused on my own issues, it happens. Sorry about that). The problems, like the swords hanging over the person's head, can be real or imagined.

I think I mentioned that I got this card in my birthday spread. Like the Five of Wands it's one of three cards which came up to represent the flavour of my year as a whole. I described how I was experiencing a distressing situation that was causing me concern but felt reassured by this card that things would be alright in the end. And so it is turning out to be (fingers crossed, it's not quite over yet).

I've subsequently noticed that I've been having panic attacks on a regular basis. Not massive ones. Just little ones. You know the kind I mean. Where you have a moment of heart flutter and breathlessness, feeling like you can't cope. That normal everyday 'Aaaaah' response to a problem. I like to pretend I'm all calm and collected on the outside but I have these moments a lot. And I'm wondering now if this is another way you can experience this card. That it might come up on a regular basis if you're an anxious person or someone who tends to panic when faced with challenges.

It's something to think about anyway. But don't read too much into it. Remember this card is found in Everyday Tarot. A massive panic attack or anxiety disorder would be accompanied by The Tower or The Star or some other Life Lessons card.

Please share any experiences you have of this card below.

The Secret To Success (Yes, There Is One!)

What I love about Tarot is that although it can be waffly at times (You're laughing at me right now aren't you? Cause you think I'm stating the obvious, huh?) it also says some things very clearly. And one of its clearest and most powerful lessons is about what it takes to be successful. Not in the worldly materialistic sense of owning houses and rolling in cash but in the Tarot sense of being who you want to be in the world. And it's not money or friends or titles or degrees that gets you there (although they can help), it's something very surprising. Ready, for it? You've been waiting all your life to hear this haven't you? It's.....(drum roll): Listening. (You weren't expecting that, eh!)

The clue for this secret is given in Life Lessons Tarot (that's the Major Arcana for those of you who've just joined us) which starts officially with The Magician card and ends with The World. The second card is the key.

Card one, The Magician, shows us who we want to be. But it is card two, The High Priestess, which tells us how to get there. She reminds us to listen to our instincts, to our inner voice.

In order to be successful, to reach The World card...

First you have to listen to yourself.

Then you have to listen to others. Listen to what life is trying to tell you through them.

That's it. It's that simple and that hard.

I try to tune into my inner voice before I write on this blog each night, letting go any preconceived notion and seeing what my subconscious suggests. I'm constantly blown away by what comes up. All this stuff has floated to the surface. Stuff I didn't even realize I knew. Stuff I have obviously accumulated over 20 years of card reading but never really processed. Like that blog I did the other day about the relationship who's who of cups. I'd never thought about that before. But when my subconscious insisted I write on that topic, forcing me to focus on it, all these ideas I never even knew I had came tumbling out.  It's amazing what you discover when you stop and reflect.

I didn't know that Tarot gave a definite secret to success either until I went through this process today. And even now I can't trace the roots that led me to this conclusion. But now that my eyes have been opened I can see it written clearly in the cards. And it also sounds right. Makes sense. The best television interviewers are those who frame their questions to suit the responses of their interviewees. The most successful politicians are those who pick up on the fears and hopes of their constituents. The best teachers are those who find out where their students are at before beginning to teach.

You'd think listening would be easy, right? We should all be successful. But daily life is so rush rush rush chatter chatter chatter there's not much room for silence or contemplation. Not much listening going on. Who has the time to stop and really take in what someone else is saying?

Yet listening is one of the most powerful acts you can perform for another human being. It's an affirmation of their existence. When I've tried to totally focus on what someone is saying I have at times experienced a deep moment of connection with that person and felt them warm towards me. And it's in that moment of warmth that the seeds for success are sown. Because with other people on your side you can do anything, don't you reckon?

I've hit this mark occasionally but not often enough and am resolving here and now to work harder on my listening skills. What about you?

Five of Wands: Problems To The Front And Problems To The Back Of You

This is the Five of Wands card. As you can see, five people are each holding a wand with which they jostle one another. No one has the upper hand. I've always thought that this card referred to competition in the workplace. You know, cause wands represent our skills and talents. And also cause work feels like this don't you reckon? There's always office politics. Stuff going down.

But right now I'm experiencing a different shade to this card.

I got the Five of Wands in a Tarot spread I did on my birthday. It's one of three cards which represent the overall themes for the year. (Yes, yes, I'll teach you how to do this one day if you like.) I thought it referred to the ongoing argy bargy that I find myself getting so caught up in my job. Even though I personally don't have much to complain about I find it hard to emotionally disengage when the people around me are unhappy.

But I haven't been at work for the last couple of months because of an illness in the family. And I've been feeling jostled in a different way. What I'm experiencing is like a bushfire. As soon as I put out one blaze another crops up. As soon as I resolve one issue another rears its ugly head. It's forcing me to be resourceful. To use all my skills. Bring my A game.

So I'm calling it. I think the Five of Wands can refer to having a lot of issues to deal with at once or sequentially. Not big life changing issues. More the little day to day ones. It's like when you're a working mum (or dad, this blog tries to be non-genderist) and have to make sure you get the kids out the door, dressed and fed with their school bags packed and notes signed, drop the children off at the right spots at the right time, then go to work deal with a load of shit there, pick the kids up, shop, make dinner, get baths and homework and stories done before bedtime then start the whole rat wheel again the next day. That kind of pressure.

It's not necessarily bad, just busy, demanding. I could as easily have called this post 'Challenges to the front and challenges to the back of you' but we tend to think of the issues we deal with on a daily basis as problems, don't we?

Have a look at the picture. Does this explanation gel with what you see? Go on, have a think about it. Don't just take my word. That's how you learn to read the cards for yourself. Feel free to add your own interpretations below.

The Relationship Who's Who of Cups

In Tarot a cup represents feelings. Cup cards therefore refer to the relationships in your life. You can kind of break them down as follows:

Ace of Cups: Baby or Soul Mate

Two of Cups: Partnerships e.g. Best friends. Boyfriend/girlfriend. Boss/Employee.

Three of Cups: Your girlfriends or your mates

Four of Cups: Marriage

Five of Cups: Break Ups

Six of Cups: First love. Fantasy love (possibly too good to be true). Past love.

Seven of Cups: Choosing with your heart (or for money and possessions, which is it?)

Eight of Cups: Giving up on a relationship and looking for someone new.

Nine of Cups: Being satisfied with your relationships.

Ten of Cups: Immediate Family. (Ten of Pentacles is your extended family.)

Knight of Cups: Your ideal lover.

Any other suggestions?

Heartache vs Heartbreak

Yesterday I described the Five of Cups as being about heart-break and the Three of Swords as being about heart-ache. I want to explore today what I meant by that. Let's have a look at them shall we?

The Three of Swords: Three swords (surprise surprise) are plunged through a heart against a grey rainy background. You can tell the wound is an old one as no blood is dripping down. There's a lot of tears (that's the rain) around this issue whatever it is. What's interesting is that swords represent thoughts. So the pain in this card is caused by a thought e.g. 'Nobody cares about me' 'No one listens to me' 'People think I'm fat'. Whichever way you look at it, the Three of Swords cuts deep. (Boom! Boom!)

Five of Cups: A man in a black mourning cloak contemplates cups in front of him whose contents have been spilled. (We'll just ignore the full ones behind him for the moment. That's a whole other story.) Cups represent feelings. This man is obviously mourning some fresh emotional loss in his life.

So what we have is fresh pain (Five of Cups) versus ancient heartache (Three of Swords). Often a new hurt sets off the old so you get the double whammy e.g. Your partner leaves and you tell yourself it's because you're not pretty enough.

Other cards you get with these ones in a reading will clarify the message they're sending.

If you get The Tower: A break-ups on the cards (again, boom boom!)

If you get the Two of Cups: It's about a partnership in your life.

If you get The Star: You need to take time out from this situation. Get away.

If you get the Six of Swords: You're moving on from the grief.

If you get The Devil: He/she wasn't right for you and you've had a lucky escape. (Although it might not feel that way.)

If you get the Four of Pentacles: He/she was a tightarse with their money or their emotions. (Or maybe you were???)

If you get the Six of Cups: Someone's living in fantasy land.

If you get the Three of Cups: Hanging out with friends is going to help you get over the hurt.

If you get the Eight of Cups: It's time for you to move on and try something (someone?) else.

If you get the Queen of Swords: You can cope with the pain no matter how much it hurts and won't fall apart.

Etc. Etc. Etc.

Any of these situations feel familiar to you?

The Tarot Of Numbers

So. Tarot cards are numbered and those numbers have meanings. It's another tool to help you understand each card's message. Generally speaking, as the number gets higher the experience becomes more intense or evolved.

The Tarot of Numbers goes something like this...

1: This is usually a card of beginnings but in Tarot the one cards are Aces. And that's how this card feels. Ace. It's akin to hitting a hole in one. You're being given a gift. Cherish it.

2: Dealing with Duality: Weighing your options (Wands). Partnering with others (Cups). Keeping all the balls juggling through the air (Pentacles). Taking time out from others when you feel overwhelmed (Swords. As an introvert that's me on a daily basis.)

3: Growth: Of skills (Wands). Of friendships (Cups). Of achievements (Pentacles). Of heartache (Swords).

4: Building a solid foundation: Getting married (Cups). Saving money (Pentacles). Making choices about who you want around (Cups). Keeping yourself mentally healthy (Swords).

5: Struggle street: Competition (Wands). Heartbreak (Cups). Arguments (Swords). Feeling poor (Cups).

6: Changing your attitude: Feeling like a winner (Wands). Trying not to live in fantasy land (Cups). Letting go of grief (Swords). Being open to good fortune and accepting when it isn't your turn (Pentacles).

7: Being strategic: Considering your next move (Pentacles). Choosing wisely (Cups). Persevering despite the odds (Wands). Or just straight out taking an opportunity when it presents itself (Swords. Some may call it stealing, ha!)

8: Recommitting to goals: Because you've finally made inroads into achieving them, yay (Wands)! Because you got waylaid by the wrong relationship/job/personal style but now you're ready to go after the right one (Cups). Because you're like the tortoise, you just keep on keeping on, or maybe you're actually talented (Pentacles). But sometimes you're just gonna be too scared shitless to make a move even though you really really want to (Swords).

9: Holding on to achievements: This can be earthly riches (Pentacles and Cups), defending territory to your dying breath (Wands) or letting your fears overwhelm you (Swords. Yep that's me there wondering why everything feels so hard. Ridiculous, I know. Here I am writing a blog and people I don't even know have been reading it. I should be ashamed of myself.)

10: Going as far as possible: Whether that be pushed to your limits (Wands and Swords) or finding your place (Cups and Pentacles).

That's my Tarot of Numbers anyway. If you have your own version that differs from above, please share. I'm here to chat and debate the possibilities not preach from a mountain-top.

The Moon: Revealing Hidden Depths

This is by far my favourite Tarot card. Because it's the one which represents an opportunity to change your life. Through losing those rotten old habits that have been holding you back from being who you truly want to be. And for me that's what Tarot is all about. It shows me how to be a more functional more beautiful human being. (I know, you're surprised, right. You thought it was the devil's tool, lol.)

However The Moon is not an easy card to understand. Just take a look at it would you.

A dog and a wolf are howling at the woman in the moon, that's right, there's a woman, look. She's not very happy. Can you see the yellow tears she's crying? Meanwhile some kind of crustacean (lobster or crayfish who knows, you say to-mate-oh, I say tom-mar-toe) crawls out out of the water and opens his arms in welcome. And ahead two towers create a gateway through which a path leads somewhere unknown. Weird, huh?  Like some crazy dream. That's because we're dealing with the subconscious in this card which is hard for the mind to grasp.

Let's just focus on the crustacean for today. A strange life form. Hard for even scientists to classify.

Crustaceans can be found crawling along the muddy bottom of water courses, including ocean trenches thousands of meters down and mountain lakes thousands of meters up, which makes them pretty darn resilient, don't you think? They arrived early in evolution and have remained pretty much unchanged for millions of years. I said they were resilient. Resilient and ubiquitous, they're everywhere man. They might have started in the ocean but they can now be found in water all over the planet. Some have even set up home on the beach (sound's good to me.) Though you won't see them often as most prefer to hunt at night.

They are scavengers who eat pretty much anything: plant or animal, dead or alive. They're like nature's very own vacuum cleaner. But they're not easy to kill in return. A hard exoskeleton protects their soft centre and if cornered they can drop off an appendage and regrow another one later. Handy, huh? We manage to kill them though, by the boatload. Although why we bother is a wonder as only a small portion of these creatures is actually edible. One of the most interesting things about them is they cannot grow unless they shed their skeleton, which they do do from time to time hidden away from sight.

So the key ideas and how they might relate to The Moon card:

Ancient species: You're dealing with something in your psyche that was implanted early in life.

Hard to classify/Most of creature inedible: This issue is hard for you to get a handle on.

Resilient: This issue has been difficult to 'kill' i.e. resolve.

Nocturnal/Muddy bottom of ocean: This issue is being impacted by your subconscious. That's why it's difficult to resolve.

Hard shell: You feel quite protective about this part of your self/life. It's your soft centre.

Growth: You have to shed your protective layers in order to be able to resolve this issue and grow.

Delicious: Okay okay I threw that one in, but they are and so is this Tarot card, although both come with a tough exterior that needs first to be cracked.

The woman who taught me Tarot, Anne Shotter, founding president of the Tarot Guild of Australia, called this card vacuum cleaning your soul. Doesn't sound pleasant does it? I like to think of it more as reprogramming your hard drive. Giving it a good reboot.

It's finally not biting back every time your mum tries to get a rise.

It's finally enrolling in higher education like you've wanted to since you were a little tacker but never felt good enough for.

It's finally giving up cigarettes after trying for 10 years.

It's finally acknowledging you'll never go back to the ex who makes you feel like shit.

It's finally losing the extra weight you've been carrying around since you were a teenager.

It's also the card of childbirth. There's nothing like having a baby to change the way you operate as a human being.

It's that profound and that challenging.

The Moon is the 19th card in Life Lessons Tarot. It takes the experience of the 18 cards before it to be capable of this kind of deep inner change. That's the 18 tears the moon is shedding.

As Albert Einstein (or some other dude, no one can quite decide) said: If you always do what you've always done you'll always get what you've always got.

The great gift of Tarot is that it says you CAN change how you operate in the world, i.e. who you are, for the better. And that radical life-rattling process happens here in The Moon. It's not easy but it can be done.

Have you done it? Please share examples.